Unsung Heroines: The Miss Universe 2nd RU's
So, without further ado, here goes my list of my favorite 2nd runner-ups. Hats off to them (in random order):
1. WHO? ME? FAT? Cindy Nell. South Africa (2003). A hot favorite that year. "Cindy Nell, 20, South Africa." To the music of Bond's Victory, she certainly had the skills to pout, to sway her hips and to move her eyes like searchlights. Only a fool can miss it. A hordes of swinging hips, sexy outfits and loose joints, this is one of my favorite introduction; but Nell, nailed it to the max. All through the competition, she was way up there, unbeatable. Even a single elegant answer: "You do not have to be phenomenal to do phenomenal things." A sure-fire answer and Nell already locked my vote. But wait, Vega came out with a simplistic answer about her granny. I do not understand why the judges got so sentimental about an answer that was memorized. I was cheated, big time. Ms. Nell, however, continued her quest for a crown and went on to compete in MW 03. But she gained weight, lost her grounds and appeared to be ordinary-looking among a bevy of beauties. What went wrong? Maybe she gave it all to MU that, eventually, drained her out dry. She was my choice for that year, and not that horsey-looking Vega. Sad.
2. LITTLE MERMAID MEETS DONALD DUCK. Johanna Raunio. Finland (1974). "I was a child and she was a child, in this kingdom by the sea, that a maiden there lived, whom you may know by the name of Johanna Raunio" (Annabel Lee, Poe). Starred in a movie as a mermaid opposite Chiquito in the Philippines (I watched it so many times to bask in her glory). She was the dream boat of so many Filipino men and boys (including myself). Of all the delegates then, I collected her photocards because she oozed milk and honey. Fair skinned, round face, dimples, blonde hair and shy, we all fantasized Ms Raunio (male and female). A good bet to play Darna too!She was not deserving of the crown because it was a tight contest. Her interview with Barker was funny (Donald Duck) and she gave the best answer out of the five, but Ms Amparo Munoz was far better and beautiful. Since Ms Munoz was dethroned and Ms Morgan (1st RU) was known to have a hidden child somewhere in the cliffs of Dover, then Ms Raunio is the 1974 MU, right? Recount? .... The 3rd Finnish MU? (they're not done yet).
3. I WANT TO BE NAKED, NOW! Margot Bourheois. Trinidad and Tobago (1997). A royal princess. Loved her gold gown, interview outfit and everything else about this lady, except for one. I want to say that she was deserving of the crown over Ms. Brooke Lee, but I guess, based on the final answer, Ms Bourgheois was fishing for an answer and everything she said just seemed to fail; thus, drowning all of her glory into a cesspool of spit. She knew it was over. Her answer of being "naked" sort of gave me the chills. Perhaps with a body like hers, it does not matter, but what about folks like us?Not a quick thinker like Ms Lee but Ms Bourgheos was heavenly to look at. She should have been 1st RU instead of that doe-looking Venezuela (Bencomo) and her evening gown walk with her head prropped down, as if counting steps and, suddenly, looking-up. That was way too rehearsed and calculated. Back to Ms. Bourheois, her performance throughout the show was solid (like a rock) and yes she rocked MU 97, minus "nudity."
4. DAMN RIGHT, I AM BIG. Milka Chulina. Venezuela (1993). When Chulina introduced herself, she made sure that you will notice her: her spear that she thumped and the way she said Venezuela! (VE-NE-ZUEY-LAH). The impact was strong. I was moved by her from start to finish. How can't I? Her hair down then up, her swimsuit defined her body, her clothes hugged her and the ball gown that was fit for a queen, or top of the cake.If god created woman in pure perfection, she will be called "Milka". Was I "bewitched, bothered and bewildered"? Yes. And why and how did she ended up 2nd RU shall remain a mystery, like the Milky Way. Her final answer was an answer the judge and the audience would love to hear, or expect to hear. She said somehing about turning negative thoughts into a positive thoughts (I think) to make a wonderful peaceful world. Isn't what these pageants are all about?Will all being said and done, Ms. Chulina did not get the crown and gave it to that dopey-looking Ms Dayanara Torres, while the 1st RU ended in the hands of that wild boar Amazonian Colombian, whom, I thought, was far less superior than Ms Chulina. It is over. I should get over it. Stop.
5. HELP, I AM MELTING ! Minorca Mercado. Venezuela (1994). An escapee from Madame Tussaud Museum. Ms. Mercado must have undergone a series of enhancements to make her look like that. A clone of Ms. Chulina (see above, #4)? Nah, but a copycat. Whereas Ms Chulina was the original, Ms Mercado was a bad photocopy. Seriously, Ms Mercado was in Manila to win. She acted surprise when she was called in the top ten (yeah, right), regally smiled throughout the competition, walked like-a-winner and gave a direct and corny answers; but came the naming of the 2nd RU, her face frowned, drooped, hardened and "surprised".All that work done on her face cannot sustain the defeat, and that facial expression: priceless. Oh Mercado was so young, so beautiful and so full of life, but with just one major flaw: her natural massive thighs. They were big. Enough to crack coconuts. She can pass for a giant toothpase: a small head attached to somewhat big masculine body. And poor Ms Mercardo dreaming of her homecoming as the new MU, years in advance.But, truthfully, I do enjoy watching Ms. Mercado. Why? Because she IS Venezuela and when I think of Venezuela, somehow, Mercado comes to mind. A lasting impression. Way to go! !
6. I AM SO HAPPY, JUST HAPPY. Yulia Levigora (?). USSR (1990). This lad represented USSR (that was a BIG country back then, in terms of land size). Ms Levigora was just happy she was there. Tearful and almost close to sobbing ("I am just happy"), one simply cannot help but feel for her. And a rather dramatic performance as well, worthy of an Oscar or a Famas.There was no way they will give the crown to this poor soul who was overwhelmed by being in front of the television. Her overall performance can be viewed as mediocre. But let us not blame her totally. Look at the competition that year: the top three included this girl from Netherlands who appeared and acted like she was fifteen and working part-time at Walmart or Cherry Foodarama, and Ms Lupita Jones (Mexico, the winner) who was just as plastic as a Saran wrap and a Glad garbage bag. Come on! It was a bad year with three depressing top three. But if we have to pick the winner, why not pick the worst of the three. And it should be Miss USSR.At least be kind to USSR and put the country in the limelight before it was turn into pieces of so many newborn countries. One of my worst MU pageants, ever. And did you see Ms Vissert (reigning MU) foraying like trash acting too Hollywoody who seemed lost in the production number that was too messy, crowded, cluttered and a total waste of fine looking garments. Tacky. Miss Universe 1995 still reigns as my favorite production number with Susmita Sen and that Latin singer, Jon Secada.
7. I'M YOUR VENUS, I'M YOU'RE FIRE, I'M GILLERON. Laraine Gilleron. Switzerland (2006). If she was in the late 80s or early 90s pageant, Ms Gilleron will win the crown. But she competed in mid 2000s where they are defining a new beauty queen. Like the new line of Barbies who are looking more like from outer space, our beauty queens also evolving to a new look.Ms Gilleron was my choice because she was the epitome of a true MU winner. From her hair all the way to her toes, everything screamed MU. Such a class act, but the organization was phasing-out the old style of choosing an MU (they want it more natural); thus, Ms Gilleron stumbled to 2nd RU spot. That bad. Why? The new breed of winners are being experimented and the organization wanted to see a beauty queen who isn't so perfect (a little short, a little plump, ordinary-looking, not so pretty, not so intelligent, a bit plain, a bit simple, dumb, stupid, ugly, etc.), so that they can fit with the vast majority of the public. Shame. The actual winner, Ms. Rivera and the 1st RU, Ms. Kurara, can attest to that: both these women, with minimal make-up and regular clothing, will look way too ordinary and plain. Not extraordinary and gorgeous like Ms. Gilleron. This must be one reason the organization dropped the word "beauty" in the Miss Universe Pageant. Shocking. Was she robbed? Yes. BIG-TIME.
8. I AM STUCK WITH JOINAITIS, CAUSE JONAITIS STUCK ON ME. Ly Jonaitis. Venezuela (2007). I like this one, very much. The winner, actually (in my opinion). Nothing can beat this thoroughbred. Signed, sealed and delivered from the country that gave us women looking like 80s and 90s Barbie dolls. True that Ms. Jonaitis is a Venezuelan, but from a different mold.Ms. Jonaitis is not extremely beautiful but handsomely groomed. Not plastic-acting but genuinely affectionate. Not a pageant-patty but true wholesome human being. I may be suffering from an affliction called "Jonaitis." But I must admit that after several viewing of the pageant, Ms Jonaitis, sometimes, appeared as if she missed rehearsals. There were instances that she was "blanking-out" and not knowing where to, how to execute her steps, or which direction to go. But, still, she is the "Ly of my life."Enough said. No one is perfect.
9. I AM SIMPLY THE BEST. Joyce Giraurd. Puerto Rico (1998). Picture this: Hawaii, hosting the pageant, with vibrant colors coming in every direction: sky and ocean blues, tropical blossoms and lush exotic greens; but what did we get: delegates in all black with just one artificial lei. Boring. Enter Ms Giraurd.The whole show became "South Bank with Benny Hill." That good. I was entertained. Yes indeed. Ms Giraurd added the color and in technicolor 3d. She was a one-woman band who will dance with you, eat ants, cut her hair and prove to the world that "women are the best." Did she also mention swimming in the mud? Holy cow, mackerel and shit. What was more: Ms Giraurd's boobs were so fake like car headlights that when she lay down on her back, her headlights (oops, boobs) will illuminate the whole UNIVERSE, straight up (not sideways, as the law of gravity will allow them). That good. And she was at her best proving to the public how tasteless, tacky and cheap a beauty pageant can be. Case closed.Ms Giraurd is one 2nd RU that must be crucified (except the boobs/headlights will directly illuminate either east or west (depending where the cross is going to be planted/erected) because gravity, again, will be defeated.
10. THIS BITCH BITES. Vanessa Carreira. South Africa (2002). Since our beloved Ms. Oksana Federova (Russia) was dethroned, all runner ups moved-up a notch, right? So Ms Carreira is the current 2nd RU. This is the story of a lovely delegate who went to the pageant and shopped for all the best supplies needed to make her shine (brand names). And shine she did. She may have sounded cocky ("because I have what it takes to win"), confident and way too-sure of herself; but, hey, she was so close to it that she was kissing the crown already. And rightly deserving so because the pageant, per Ms Carreira, was all about ME, MYSELF and I. Period.If Ms Carreira is walking down the street wearing a fur coat and someone said to her, "hey, do you know how many animals they have to kill to make that coat?" Carreira's remark would sound like, "Do you know how many men I have to fuck to get this coat, so scram!" Unfortunately, the judges and the audience must have felt that she was full of "hot air." and way into herself because "the world belongs to me, NO, the universe." But check out her evening and swimsuit, it was to die for with a body sculpted by Bowflex. Honestly, I do like her, a lot. Exotic and sexy and not deserving of that pitiful 3rd place. What's more? The placement of China and Panama is something of a puzzle, to this day. Again, two ordinary and plain looking women. But not, of course, Carreira or Federova ........ or me.
Honorobale mention goes to:COME HERE LITTLE KITTY. Helen Lindes (2000). Great performance. Great body. Sexy and full of charms. Too bad she lost out to that Ms Lara Dutta (India). What more can I say? This delegate's sex appeal will burn the house down! Should have placed higher. I am not a big fan of Ms Dutta but, hey, she can sure answer to anything thrown at her.-A. Trinidad
